IF

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If I ever was anything I wasn't
If I ever said anything I didn't
If my smile ever carried a double edged sword
If I ever drowned myself in a throng of feelings
If I ever denied myself supper
Or let my dirty clothes pile for longer
If I killed a rabbit once in my fury
Or let a helpless mouse drown while I watched
If I ever said there was no God
Or implied that I loved no one
If I let the days pass by without learning
And let the nights slip by without loving
If I fucked life from the side and upside down
In order to bring you that which you lost
If I gave myself up to the lust of youth
And in my excitement forgot to not be loose
If I ate all fruit in its season
And never remembered to bow to the tides of time
If sometimes I lose my cool
And act like a complete rabid skin bag of bones
If if if if
If I tell you all these secrets about me
Then know my friend, that it is for you
That I live this life that there isn't much left of.


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